Summer 2018 recap

IMG_9360 2

Oh man. So. This summer has been… something. Life, death, fear, grief, rising through the ashes. Lots of carbs (then less of them) and many miles driven.

I don’t want to get into the details because you know them already, but suffice it to say that I’m very glad to have people I can turn to in hard times. I don’t think life is worth living otherwise. I’m going to the beach in a couple of weeks, and that makes life worth living, too.

I have read 36 books this year, plus another six I’m picking away at, and another three that I have decided not to finish. I’m finally ok with not slogging through a book just because someone made the effort to create it. There are a lot of really poorly written books out there (so I might as well get published, eh?). Sorry, Cecile Richards, I really wanted to like your book, but wow is it boring. You deserved a better editor.

I’ve really decreased my usage of social media, but I think it’s more that everyone else has stopped posting much, so there’s no content I want to see. It pains me as a marketer to say this, but sorry, brands. No one wants to see your social content, because you aren’t really adding value or entertainment. However, writing this post reminded me that Twitter exists and now I have lost 10 minutes of my life to a bunch of nonsense. I got to see a lot of cute puppies, though, so there’s some redemption.

I’ve spent the money to apply for a passport, as a gesture of faith that things will change for the better. I’ve joined a pitching challenge to see if I can get published somewhere, which is scary and exciting. (I hate how often those things seem to be intertwined!)

I feel like I’m plowing through my checklist of goals, so here’s what I know right now:

Cocktails taste better when you add some edible gold dust to make them shimmer.

It turns out that some cliche advice is actually correct. Writing every day is really good for me, especially when I write for just me, to get out all the crud that’s whirling around in my mind and blocking me from getting to the things I want to focus on. Right now, I’m trying 750 Words. It’s bare bones and it’s kind of hard to scroll back through what you’ve written, but I think that’s the point. Leave all those worries in the dust and look forward.

We tie money to value or worth as a person, and I’m definitely feeling like my low bank balance and my lack of a full-time job mean I’m lesser than. I’m so tired of feeling like that. I do that to myself in so many ways—not just about this. I’ve been putting off so much for Until. Until what? After when? I am good enough already!

Don’t wait for the world to validate your worth. You know who you are and what you’re about, and you bring value all on your own, just by being you. Stop waiting, stop waiting, stop waiting.

I read this the other day and it really resonated:

My loved ones would attest that I am indeed quite different from the woman I was even just one year ago. Where my eyes used to turn downwards, slowly, I am meeting the eye of my neighbor. I am growing more certain of myself, more certain of my work. I am loud and brave in ways that were completely foreign to me just last week. Every day, I am coming into this existence. And with each unexpected smile, as my arms fall from their permanent cross against my chest, I am shifting. I still look the same. But I’m growing into a new version of myself, a version that’s not quite so busy negotiating with her doubts and insecurities. I’m carrying a new weight with me every time I enter a room, one that people are choosing to pay attention to.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s