What do I want 2015 to be? How do I want to feel about myself at the end of the year?
These are the two questions I started mulling over when I started thinking about what my goals will be.
1. Being less negative. A major struggle of my life for the past few years has been my relationship with my parents (and, by extension, my brother). I’ve had issues since my teens with the hypocrisy of their actions toward me and their controlling nature. I have worked to set better boundaries and to ask for the respect I deserve. It hasn’t happened. It really came to a pivotal point when I was pregnant. I refuse to let Thomas see me be treated that way and think that it’s OK and normal. And, whatever. I don’t see any improvement happening with people who refuse to consider changing or acknowledging my perspective. In 2014, I talked less about it and felt less angry all the time. I’d like to work more at that in 2015. Do I see myself softening and having a close relationship with them? No. But Josh is adamant about Thomas knowing his grandparents and giving them the chance to be involved in his life. I can already tell from our Christmas visit, though, that I will have some ground rules to set in how I will allow them to act toward him.
I also have a lot of rage bubbling at work, so talking about that situation less will put less fuel on that fire, too, I think.
2. Projects. This is a tough one for me. I LOVE projects; I LOVE crafts. I think a lot of the fun, educational tools I want Thomas to experience are ones that I could and should make. Time is the hard one on this. Last year, I completed eight of 10 goaled projects, which is pretty good.
Instead of setting a solid number, I’d like to set intentions and aim for at least one project from the following groups:
- Play for Thomas
- Clothes for me
- Christmas decorations
- Home decor
Already, I started a felt board for Thomas. And every year, I’m sad that I don’t just have a stable of Christmas decorations that I can just get out and put out. So, I’d like to slowly work to change that.
3. Track my food on my Fitbit app. I’m making this one REALLY specific because if I track my food, I will lose weight. If I don’t log food, I won’t lose weight. It’s that simple. I already plan to up my activity in easy ways (fitness equipment at work, daily walks), so this is my missing piece. I need to commit to it. It’s what’s kept me fairly slim my entire life.
4. Back health. There are two aspects to this, and they’re both self-care that is really vital for me feeling good:
- Regular chiropractic visits
It’s been nearly a year since I went to the chiropractor, and I’ve felt the lack of regular visits. I’ve had a few bouts of really terrible back pain that caused me to take muscle relaxers — my last resort. I’m probably not going to be able to make it to a yoga studio, but I could follow podcast routines, YouTube videos or ones on Netflix or Hulu. Even the yoga video on 10-Minute Trainer isn’t too bad for back health and there’s no reason I can’t fit in a 10-minute yoga routine.
5. Clothing budget. I’m starting the year with $534 ($500 for 2015 + $34 carried over from 2014). But this year, I’m also including purses and shoes into the budget. So, we’ll see how this goes. As previous years, clothing I make myself doesn’t count, though I’ll also be tracking apparel fabric costs for the first time.
6. Read 25 books. Perhaps a more manageable goal? I could read more if I was always listening to audio books during my commute. But I go in spurts of listening because I don’t find it as enjoyable as actual reading.
7. Declutter. This is a carryover from last year. I always will be finding ways to streamline my life and stay neat and organized. Being home for Christmas really sent this one home for me, though. My mother is a hoarder, and I can’t let that happen to me. My back bedroom/craft room is becoming like every room in my parents’ house (you’re unable to navigate around without knocking something over and I get pissed just trying to find anything). I need to get that under control. The garage also could use an intervention.